The Philthy Adventure: Ferrets and Watermelons

I am known by many names: Philip, Phil, Felipe, P-Train, Philly, Philthy, Feripe, Pumpernickel (which means fart goblin). But you can call me Phil. And this is my adventure.

audentiax asked: Gatsby x Javert

chrolloneon:

"OLD SPORT" GATSBY SCREAM AS HE FLY DOWN THE HGIHG WAY. OH SHIT HERE CUM GATSBY IN HIS NEW RIDE

what was he running from?? his past???? u can remeat the past, old spirt. why of course yu can. but you cant outrun……….THE LAW

gatsby checked his mirrors lik a responsivble driver before accidentall running over ten pedestrians and another car. behind him there were flashing blue lghts. “old sport” he grubled. its the police

does gasby give a fuck?? they dont call him the grep gatsby for nothing. he turned on the turbo speed and drove like a NASCAR man. but THE LAW was faster. THE LAW shot down the road like javert goign off the bridge

(wait that was a spoiler)

"I AM THE LAW" bellow a voice from behind gabby. it was havert. he leap onto gatsbys car like a tiger from rebvolutionary era france. but a musical one.

"im running from my past old sport" gasty exasperated. "get out fo here"

"fuck THAT" scream javert, except he was singing. he put handcuffs on gatsby. 

"old sport" gatsby sported. 

"AND IM JAVERT" scream javert.

gastby went to prison for nine years. but then he escaped and became the mayor of a small frienc town and actually you know how this goes idont need to narrate

but it wasns a loaf of bread he stole. not this time. this time……..

it was javers heart.

HOME RANT

I don’t really care if anyone reads this, this is just me trying to get shit off my chest, even thought I’ve ranted to two people I just need to put it all down in solid form.

I hate going home. I love my family, but when I go home, all I here is bitching from each and every one of them, about everyone else. There’s always someone doing one thing wrong, and if it isn’t that, it’s another thing. When I come home, it’s a huge game of “Who can win Philip over so he’s on my side.” I hate that. I just want a home life to come to that isn’t a big mess.

My little brother is a whiny bitch with anger issues. He’s constantly telling my Dad that he doesn’t know anything, and goes off to only come back and ask for my Dads help. And he. Proceeds to yell at my Dad because he apparently is angry with my brother.

My Mom is clinically depressed, and likes to drink and then yell at my brother, nephew, and Dad for no reason. Though still my brother sides with my Mom. My nephew is stuck in the middle of it all. It’s great. My Mom treats my Dad like shit because she thinks he treats her poorly, when in reality, he’s simply treating her like an adult, trying to make her realize that she needs to start acting her age.

My sister no longer lives with my family because she’s twenty two and lives with her amazing boyfriend, Max. But even THAT can’t save her from the mess that is our unnecessarily crazy family. She’s constantly told that she is in a terrible living situation by my Mom. She’s also told that doesn’t do anything good for my nephew, even though she’s the one who is able to give him an escape from the home life.

I’m tried of this. Fucking. Tired.

They probably like X-Men because it’s about something. It’s not just an adventure story. It’s not silly. It’s not just about a wimp who turns into Superman by changing his underwear. It’s about how society treats minorities.

—Sir Ian McKellen - UK Premiere “X-Men: Days Of Future Past” 05/12/14 (via snorlaxatives)

(Source: mutant-101, via daybreakwarrior)

fucksebastianstan:

asmilinggoddess:

asmilinggoddess:

at this point, i think marvel owes us a scene in the next avengers movie where natasha is like wHERE WERE ALL OF YOU?

"it was serious, clint" 
"yeah but i had a thing"
"PEOPLE DIED, CLINT.”

in an alternate scenario: clint is like “WELL YEAH I WAS BUSY. DID YOU HEAR ABOUT ALL OF EURASIA GETTING WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH” “…no?” “YEAH. YOU’RE WELCOME FOR THAT.”

Basically I want Clint to be like this

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(via daybreakwarrior)